Rediscovering Your Why at 53: How to Pay Attention to What Matters in This Season

Have you ever looked up and realized that the life you built no longer quite fits the woman you are becoming?

That’s a question I’ve been sitting with at 53.

From the outside, my life may look like it has a lot of purpose. I’m a mother, I’m in ministry, I’ve built a career, I’m creating, writing, learning, and serving. I’ve spent years showing up for other people and doing what needed to be done.

And I’m grateful.

But gratitude doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to ask, “What matters to me now?”

Lately, I’ve been realizing that I’m still figuring some things out. And instead of seeing that as a problem, I’m beginning to see it as an invitation.

An invitation to slow down.

To pay attention.

To ask better questions.

To rediscover my why.

My Why Has Changed Over Time

For a long time, I knew what my why was—or at least what I thought it needed to be.

My life was shaped by responsibility, motherhood, work, ministry, achievement, serving, providing, and simply doing what needed to be done.

There were seasons when my goal was survival.

Then there were seasons of building.

There were seasons of proving myself.

There were seasons of taking care of everyone else.

And none of those seasons were wasted.

They made me who I am.

But I’m realizing that my why can have chapters too.

What motivated me at 25 isn't necessarily what motivates me at 53.

What mattered to me at 35 doesn't necessarily have the same weight today.

So I’m asking myself:

• What actually matters to me now?

• What do I want this next chapter to be about?

• What gives me energy?

• What am I curious about?

• What do I want to experience?

• What am I ready to leave behind?

I don't think I’m losing my purpose.

I think I’m allowing my understanding of purpose to grow.

I’m Paying Attention to How I Want to Live

One of the things I’ve been thinking about lately is something as simple as my mornings.

I want slower mornings.

I want coffee.

I want time with God.

I want to read my devotional and journal.

I want to work out.

I want to begin my day intentionally instead of immediately rushing into everything everyone else needs from me.

And I’ve realized that this isn't just about creating a better morning routine.

It’s about asking myself:

“How do I want my life to feel?”

I don't want every day to begin with a list of obligations.

I want to have moments where I can breathe.

Think.

Listen.

Pray.

Move my body.

And simply be present.

I'm learning that how I experience my ordinary days matters.

I’m Thinking Differently About My Health

My health is another area where my perspective is changing.

I’m working on losing weight.

I’m paying closer attention to what I eat.

I’m thinking about nourishing my body rather than simply eating whatever is convenient.

I’m working out and even trying new workout classes.

And I’m realizing that this isn't just about a number on a scale.

I want to feel good.

I want to have energy.

I want to feel strong.

I want to enjoy traveling and exploring.

I want to feel comfortable in my body.

I want to be able to participate in the life I’m imagining.

So I’m not simply asking, “How much weight do I want to lose?”

I’m asking:

“What kind of woman do I want to feel like in my everyday life?”

That question feels much bigger.

I’m Rethinking What I Eat

Even my relationship with food is becoming part of this larger conversation.

I’m asking myself:

What makes me feel good?

What gives me energy?

What supports the woman I’m becoming?

What am I eating because I truly want it, and what am I eating simply because it’s a habit?

I’m realizing that the choices I make today are connected to the life I want tomorrow.

And this isn't about perfection.

It’s about paying attention.

I’m learning to make choices based on the life I want—not just the life I’ve always lived.

I’m Rethinking My Career and My Work

I’m also asking questions about my career and ministry.

I've accomplished a lot professionally, and I’m proud of the work I’ve done.

I love serving.

I love helping people.

I love creating.

I love teaching.

But at 53, I’m also asking:

What do I want my work to feel like in this next chapter?

What do I want to spend my energy doing?

What kind of impact do I want to make?

What still energizes me?

What has become an obligation?

What do I want my life outside of work to look like?

I’m not necessarily saying I need to walk away from everything I’ve built.

I’m saying I’m giving myself permission to rethink how I want to participate in it.

Because I don't think success has to mean the same thing at 53 that it meant at 33.

I’m Discovering That Purpose Isn’t Only About Work

This has been one of the biggest things I’m reconsidering.

As a woman of faith, it can be easy for me to connect purpose with assignment.

What am I supposed to do?

What am I supposed to build?

What am I supposed to teach?

What am I supposed to accomplish?

What impact am I supposed to make?

But I’m beginning to ask a different question:

What if my purpose isn't only about what I produce?

What if joy matters?

What if curiosity matters?

What if rest matters?

What if learning matters?

What if experiencing life matters?

What if becoming healthier, softer, freer, more present, and more fully myself is also part of this season?

I’m learning that not everything I enjoy has to become an assignment.

Sometimes I can simply enjoy something.

I’m Giving Myself Permission to Explore

This is something I’m really embracing.

I want to travel.

I want to discover new coffee shops.

I want to visit farmers markets.

I want to spend more time outside.

I want to explore nature.

I want to try new workout classes.

I want to crochet.

I want to learn.

I want to create.

I want to have fun again.

And I don't need to immediately decide what any of those things mean.

I can simply be curious.

I can try something because it sounds interesting.

I can discover something new without turning it into a business, a ministry, or a five-year plan.

Not everything I’m exploring has to become an assignment.

Some things can simply bring me joy.

I’m Asking God Different Questions

My conversations with God are changing too.

I still want direction.

I still want clarity.

But I’m becoming more comfortable asking questions without demanding immediate answers.

I’m asking:

“Lord, what are You showing me?”

“What are You developing in me?”

“What am I supposed to release?”

“What are You inviting me into?”

“What does this next chapter require from me?”

“What have You placed in me that I haven't fully explored?”

And sometimes I don't get an immediate answer.

That's uncomfortable for me.

But I’m learning that God can lead me without giving me the entire map.

I don't need to know exactly where everything is going.

I just need to be willing to take the next step.

I Don’t Want to Wake Up at 63 Still Asking the Same Questions

This is where I feel a little urgency.

Not panic.

Not a midlife crisis.

Just awareness.

I don't want to wake up ten years from now and realize I spent another decade simply maintaining my life.

I don't want to keep putting off the things that make me feel alive.

I don't want to keep waiting for the perfect time.

I want to explore.

I want to create.

I want to travel.

I want to learn.

I want to have fun.

I want to listen.

I want to become.

So I'm not rushing myself to figure everything out.

But I am paying attention.

I’m not rushing the answer. But I’m no longer ignoring the question.

Maybe This Is What Becoming HER Again Really Means

For me, becoming HER again isn't about going backward.

I don't want to become the woman I was at 25.

I don't want to recreate an old version of myself.

I want to discover this version of me.

The woman who has lived.

The woman who has learned.

The woman who has loved.

The woman who has experienced disappointment.

The woman who has served.

The woman who has made mistakes.

The woman who has survived.

The woman who still has dreams.

The woman who still has questions.

The woman who still has more life to live.

I'm not going back to find HER.

I'm discovering HER.

And maybe that's what this season is really about.

Not having all the answers.

Not reinventing my entire life overnight.

But becoming more honest about what matters to me now.

Paying attention to what gives me life.

Listening for God's direction.

Letting go of what no longer fits.

And slowly, intentionally, building a life that feels more like mine.

So I'm asking myself—and maybe you're asking yourself too:

What matters to me now?

Not what mattered ten years ago.

Not what everyone else expects.

Not what I'm supposed to want.

What matters to me now?

Because maybe I don't need to figure out my entire life.

Maybe I just need to start paying attention to the woman who is emerging.

And maybe you do too.

Stay Connected:

on YouTube and Instagram @lashaymjohnson